I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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