Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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