Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
