She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
