I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
