My hand turned me down
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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