found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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