So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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