My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
