i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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