rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
