atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
