her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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