Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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