so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
