A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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