fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize