Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
