Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
