Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the night ended with taco bell and tears
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
