I'm gonna have a badass scar
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I understand Curling. That high.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
