who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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