i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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