What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
