We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
