if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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