Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize