i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
