took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bring money and cleavage
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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