dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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