The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize