I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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