We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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