you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
