You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
