i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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