He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
