my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
