Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
