I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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