we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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