I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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