Your face is a jimmy john
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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