Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
