The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
