They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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