i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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