Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
