And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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