So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
