so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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