Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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