Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
