We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
only if we run a train.
done.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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