Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
