Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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