that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
