I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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