holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize