Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
