I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
