we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize